do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
