You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I am naked and annoyed.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
