she looked like the bat from fern gully.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
