How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
