she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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