just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
