Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
