I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
