never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
