It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
