Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Randomize
