jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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