So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
two words: eviction party
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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