sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
