im gay
i know
yea but for you.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
