Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
