My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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