Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
