Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize