so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
