u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
organizing the empties. That sober.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
