sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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