Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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