I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
