Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
