so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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