We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
