Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
