I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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