dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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