I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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