I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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