wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
