Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
