im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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