your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
