I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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