Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
