Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
