Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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