This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
