hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
