I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
