Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
