No awkward lesbian experiences without me
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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