my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
