Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
