Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
