great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
