Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
